Stuff My Sisters Will Like

To Jenny, Katie and Laura, From Their Brother, Victor

On Bursting Barristers, Beverages, & Babies October 24, 2015

Filed under: Commercials,Funny,Inside Jokes,Neat,Sci-fi,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

Based on a real instant message conversation:

 

Hey Laura, check out this about Bryan Wilson, the Texas Law Hawk:

 

 

[Laura:] What was that?!? I have no words.

The word you are looking for is: “Awesome.”

Reminds me of Powerthirst:

 

 

That’s a lot of babies.

Well, when you’re open to life…

Hopefully they are all from the same mother… or hopefully not?

If a mother has a 25 year window of fertility, she would have to have 16 babies a year.

I’m sure that Powerthirst could expand that window.

Good point.

I wonder how many kids a Powerthirst-drinking household would have after a decade? (Recall how Powerthirst accelerates puberty.)

It may also accelerate the growth of the preborn child as well. Babies having babies.

Like Tribbles.

Just what I was thinking.

So if Powerthirst increased your fertile years for your whole lifespan and you lived to be 100, that would only be 4 babies a year.

Much more reasonable.

Indeed. And they would be born thirsty.
I might have to blog this conversation.

If you type it while drinking Powerthirst, you will just have to think the words and they will pop up on the screen.

Or maybe one of the babies can type it for you.

If I pour the can out over my monitor, the blog will write itself from now on.

(*Spoken in Powerthirst voice*) Awesome!

If I do not receive said promise of super-fertility, do you know of any lawyers who would represent someone who has been drinking something they shouldn’t have?

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Rejected Baby Names March 11, 2014

Filed under: Funny,Inside Jokes,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

Sister Laura is well-along in the motherly way and has been busy vetoing potential baby names, including:
Placenta, Vladimir Dave, Hilary Rodham, Ulysses Robocop, and (my personal favorite) Regina Latifah.

 

A Page From Katherine’s Playbook September 25, 2013

Filed under: Funny,Inside Jokes,Politics,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

Green Eggs and Ham, read into the Senate record last night by Senator Ted Cruz.

 

“I Am Edward Snowden” July 25, 2013

Filed under: Funny,Inside Jokes,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

Recently, sister Laura said she saw a picture of me featured on The Drudge Report. It’s great being me; the same good looks with fewer federal indictments.

 

Stuff Our Dad Said April 9, 2013

Filed under: Funny,Inside Jokes,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

To celebrate our beloved Dad’s 66th birthday, here’s a list of his classic sayings:

  • “Rise and shine; hit the deck; another day, another dollar; early bird gets the worm; come on, get up!”
  • “Finish your milk.”
  • “MTV rots your brain.”
  • “Give your dad a hug.”
  • “Get out of my chair.”
  • “Help your mom.”
  • “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”
  • “Never trust someone who says ‘trust me.'”
  • [“Dad, could we get ice cream afterwards?] “It’s a definite maybe.” “It’s a definite possibly.”
  • “Never make promises you can’t keep.”
  • “What do you mean you’ve never heard of [historical thing]?”
  • “I remember when all this used to be corn fields, as far as the eye could see.”
  • “Who wants toast?” “Who wants popcorn?” “Who wants ice cream?” “Who wants Coco Wheats?” “Who wants a sandwich?” … “Then get in here.”
  • “So what movie do you want to see?  … How about [the movie I want to see]?”
  • “Things are really slow at work right now. It’s just dead. Nothing’s coming in.”
  • “I’m just buried at work right now.”
  • [On the DVR:] “I just love skipping all these commercials.”
  • [On parenting:] “Be firm, be fair.” “Give your kids a hug everyday.”
  • [On packing car trunks:] “There’s a science to this.” “Put the big things in first.”
  • [On buying more than enough tree-swing rope:] “You can always cut it shorter, but you can’t make it longer.”
  • [On a detracting evening news report about the “Promise Keepers”:] “Well, if ABC’s against it, it’s probably a good thing.”
  • “Work hard, be good. Love, Dad.”
 

“How Many Sesame Streets Away?” April 2, 2013

Filed under: History,Inside Jokes,Neat,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

How long were travel times westerly from New York City during the 1800’s?

Today you can find the travel time rings for any city. For instance, this is one hour’s driving distance from northern Atlanta, a place just nine Mr. Rogers from the Caribbean and Atlantic shores.

 

Found In Space December 15, 2012

Filed under: Funny,Inside Jokes,Neat,Sci-fi,Science,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

How Many People Are In Space Right Now (.com)  (Or, Chris’ next homepage.)

In other space news:  Imagine how many people will be in space once this project is fully operational.