Stuff My Sisters Will Like

To Jenny, Katie and Laura, From Their Brother, Victor

Congressional Superpowers September 1, 2013

Filed under: Neat,Politics,Silly Studies,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

Members of Congress are called to work for truth, justice, and the American way! The U.S. Constitution empowers them for this mission with little-known abilities. Yet, every superpower has its own accompanying weakness. For example, Superman’s Kryptonite vulnerability checks and balances his super-strength. This applies to the superpowers of Senators and Representatives as well, be they heroes or villains.

Congressional Superpower
: Verbal Immunity, the power to say anything without being sued!
Accompanying Weakness
: Only works during legislative business or debate.
Congressional Superpower: Traveling Immunity, the power to break laws without being arrested!
Accompanying Weakness: Only works during congressional sessions, or when traveling to or from them, and it cannot be wielded for treason, felonies, or breaches of the peace, which has been interpreted to include all criminal acts.
Congressional Superpower: Franking, the power to send anything anywhere on earth for free!
Accompanying Weakness: It must be something mailed for official business and, since 1991, there appears to be a finite budget allowance on “free” mailings.
Congressional Superpower: Self-Enrichment, the power to set one’s own salary!
Accompanying Weakness: The 27th (and most recent) Amendment prevents new laws which raise congressional pay from taking effect until the next term.
Congressional Superpower: Minions, to assist in one’s plotting of plots!
Accompanying Weakness: They’re the librarians at the Library of Congress, who only assist in research.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s