Stuff My Sisters Will Like

To Jenny, Katie and Laura, From Their Brother, Victor

“Jesus For President” November 2, 2012

Filed under: Funny,Politics,Religion,Silly Studies,Stuff — Fr. Victor Feltes @ 8:00 am

This election, some conservative Christians are considering voting either for a third-party candidate or for no one at all because they see serious flaws in both candidates. As sister Laura’s husband recently remarked, “If you’re going to do that, you might as well vote for Jesus as a write-in.” (It seems that someone else has seriously suggested doing this.) When you think about it, Jesus would be the ideal presidential candidate.

Jesus Christ: The One We’ve Been Waiting For

  • Jesus understands and cares about people like us
  • He has over 20 centuries of executive experience
  • He has a proven record in healthcare, education, and eliminating hunger
  • He’s an expert in Middle Eastern affairs (and personally knows its pitfalls)
  • He would always win in debates
  • He has no hidden scandals
  • He is faithful to His bride
  • He is solidly pro-life
  • Like Washington, he would never tell a lie
  • Rather than just saying, “God bless America,” Jesus could actually do it
  • Ask yourself, are you better off than you were before the Fall?
  • Jesus Christ: Change We Can Believe In

Of course, the election of Jesus Christ as president would lead to a Constituional crisis. Some would object that Jesus has never attained 35 years of age, or that He lacks the required 14 years of U.S. residency. The strongest disqualification, however, would be that Jesus is not a natural-born U.S. citizen. Besides all this, it seems most likely that Jesus would refuse to accept the office anyway. Yet, if you’re going to vote for someone who has virtually no chance of becoming president, then it might as well be Jesus.

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